From the moment we know we are pregnant, there is a fierce need to protect our children no matter what.
We don’t want them to hurt, to feel sad, to worry or suffer in any way…and we do whatever we can to prevent that from happening, even at our own expense.
When we experience hurt ourselves, our natural instinct around our children is to ‘keep a lid on it’…we don’t want them to feel our hurt, to see us upset, to worry about us. So we push it down, tuck it away and pretend that we’re not hurting…and this is how we are hurting our children!
When we push our emotions down, our children still feel them. We hold our experiences in our physical and energetic body, and they stay there until they are healed, processed and released. Whilst we are still holding them (or as my lovely client says, keeping them in boxes with the lids on) we are hurting both ourselves and our children.
We are also teaching our children that it is not good to release emotions. So while our thinking has moved forward massively from the ‘boys don’t cry’ mindset, and we are teaching our children that it is ok to cry and good to share how they feel, we are modelling completely the opposite…and remember our children are watching much more than they are listening!
How will our children ever learn that it’s good to share feelings and express emotions if they are shown the opposite?
When we honour our own emotions and give ourselves permission to get the support, space and time to heal and process, we not only release the emotions which relieves us of the hurt (and our children from feeling our hurt build up), but we also model healthy emotional processing.
It can be really hard to start digging into our own stuff, to bring up for release…I get that, I’ve been there. Sometimes you just need someone to hold the space so that you can start the outpouring, other times you need a bit more…someone to walk alongside you, so that the journey isn’t so painful.
Either way I can help you...get in touch to find out the best way for you
Being a Mum is so hard sometimes…but there’s no need to try and do it all without the support you need