It’s associated with being a mum isn’t it. I asked the mums on my Facebook page recently, how often they were stressed and 95% said constantly…that’s a lot of stress! When I asked about the causes of their stress, there were various answers…but those answers aren’t the reason they feel the stress. You can have stressful situations; face difficulties; be challenged…but that isn’t what causes you to be stressed all of the time.
What causes you to be constantly stressed is resilience, or lack of it…and here’s the big thing ~ YOU CAN CHANGE IT!
There are things that you can do, that when you are not doing them, means that you feel more stressed by your experiences
When I ask my clients about these things, whether they are doing them or not, is a clear indicator of how well they are coping with the day to day stresses that they face. It’s also an indicator of their ability to be resilient when something bigger happens for them.
Stress can trickle in on a daily basis, but when you’re not doing these things, it can build up and up and up…before it finally pushes you over the edge. If you are already holding stress or trauma from something else (birth being the most common that I come across), it will push you even further when you let the stress build up.
So here they are…
1. Dedicated daily time for yourself
It’s very rare that when I’ve met a mum at the beginning of her journey, and asked if she does this, that she has said yes. The most common answer is “I don’t have the time”. It’s also very rare that after working with me, she hasn’t been able to create this space dedicated to her own self care…and the difference is unbelievable.
You are processing way too much, holding way too much and dealing with way too much, to not have any time to enable the release. I’m not talking about hours to yourself, although that would be amazing! I’m talking about minutes…you can create the space to do that, but you have to choose to do it.
The bottom line is that you can not give all of you, if you aren’t putting anything back in…something has to give. Without this dedicated space, it’s likely to be your health…mental, physical or emotional (or all 3)
2. Mindset practice
If you’re not used to them, this can sound more complicated than it actually is! If you wake up after a bad night sleep, having snapped at your Little One and feeling like the worst mum in the world, you continue your day with how rubbish everything is, how rubbish you are and how nothing will ever get better, you’re not going to be in the best position to deal with what life throws at you. If all you see in the morning are the bad things in life, how difficult everything is…that is what you will find.
Taking just 10 minutes to find the things that you appreciate about yourself, the things that you are grateful for or the things that you would love for your day, can absolutely turn your day around…and put you into a much better frame of mind to deal with anything that does tend to stress you out. Doing the same at the end of each day can set you up for a better day the next day.
I now that when you’re exhausted it can be hard to lift yourself, I’ve been there…but I’ve also used this to bring myself through some pretty dark days…you can too
3. Looking after your energy
You are giving out all of the time, in more ways than you realise. You are connecting with people out of duty, maintaining relationships and friendships that drain the life out of you…and the thing is, that they are actually draining you. They are taking valuable energy, that when you are a mum, doesn’t feel lie it’s in fruitful supply! Family members who are hard work, work colleagues that moan all day, that ‘friend’ who always needs to offload (then feels loads better when they’ve dumped all of their crap on you!)…every single one of them is draining your energy, leaving you with less to deal with what comes up for you.
You will have people in your life that you do need to be in contact with, but protecting your energy is a must. Being conscious about the fact that you have an energy supply, and prioritising where it goes is essential
And the one thing that will release so much of it all?
Healing & releasing difficult experiences that haven’t been fully processed
When you go through a difficult or traumatic experience, and aren’t in a position to process it fully at the time, you hold the emotions in your body…they get tucked away. They lie there, sometimes with you completely unaware, waiting to be triggered…without warning.
You are like a vessel, and when you are holding on to unresolved hurt or trauma, it’s filling you up…add the stress on top, and you’ve got much less time or capacity until you boil over.
The stress will trigger the feelings that are buried, bringing them to the surface and reigniting the whole experience
You can not be who you want to be, you can not be the best person you can…the best mum you can be, if you are holding on to all of these emotions, difficult memories and trauma
When you allow yourself to heal, process and release, there is less to be triggered and there is more space, meaning that you have the capacity to deal with so much more before you reach breaking point.
If this has hit home, and you could do with some help with this, please get in touch…I’m here to help.
And if it was your birth experience that was difficult or traumatic, pre booking is available now for my Birth Healing Together Programme which starts in October…and if you’re quick, you could get yourself a bargain, as I had a special offer for July and didn’t get chance to take it down off the website yet, so you can save some money if you book today
I hope this has helped, and that you can implement this into your life to relieve the stress that life is throwing at you right now
Love Jennie 💕