3 reasons why the parenting books have made EVERYTHING worse for you

Parenting is the hardest job on the planet, and it comes without a job description, guidelines or supervision. You are thrust into an unknown world, first with pregnancy, then with a newborn and then with a child who grows and changes all the time…and just expected to know what to do!

It’s no surprise that we turn to and consume so many parenting books…they can often be your only lifeline, helping you to understand your baby’s needs. They tell you all of the practical things that you need to know, how to deal with difficult situations, what your baby needs from you, how to take care of yourself etc.

In those dark times when you feel like you’re screwing everything up, or you just can’t work out the answers, these books can feel like your saviour

So how on earth could they be making EVERYTHING worse?!

Every single book is written by a person…a person with their own views, beliefs, values and opinions. Views, beliefs and opinions based on their experience…not your experience and not necessarily your views, beliefs, values and experience. Different books will give conflicting information…there may even be information that feels conflicting to you within a book. When you are trying to get to the root of what your Little One is struggling with, when you are potentially struggling too, other people’s views and opinions in this volume just add more information to your already busy, overwhelmed head!

Every single book is written with a certain child or certain type of child in mind. There is no book out there written for your individual, unique child. What is written in the books about someone else’s child might include information or an approach that is completely wrong for your child…parts of it might be right, which can be worse, as you might not discount the information that isn’t relevant. No one knows your child like you do, and when techniques or information which are meant for another child, don’t work for yours, it can make you feel like a complete failure…and that there is something wrong with your child.

Every single book is telling you what your child needs, what you need to do. Firstly, each and every child’s situation and needs are individual, and based on so many variables…experiences such as pregnancy and birth, personality, family environment, health, sensitivity levels…there is no way that one book can get it right for each child! Secondly, by telling you what your child is feeling and what you need to do about it, what the book is doing is completely disempowering you as a mum!

So how do you work out how to help and support your Little One?

You have everything you need to work out the answers…you and your Little One!

When you connect to your child and to your own intuition, you access all of the answers you will ever need

It’s a process, and it’s one that needs constant attention and nurturing, but with practice it starts to come so much more naturally

No more useless information!

No more techniques that don’t work!

No more searching for the answers!

No more feeling like a failure!

But it sounds too hard doesn’t it, how do you connect when your head is so full and you’re stressed and overwhelmed?!

I can help!

My job is not to tell you how to parent, but to help you to connect to yourself and your Little One, so that you can parent in the way that you want to…and they need you to.

And if you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to get in touch and I’ll be happy to answer them!

The one thing that’s stopping you from resolving your Little One’s struggles

I know you’ll be wondering how on Earth can one thing be stopping us from having the happy family life that we want, when there are so many factors in what causes issues for us and our Little Ones.

All of the responsibilities we have…home, work, school/nursery, looking after Little Ones, relationships, family, friendships.

All the stuff our Little Ones are going through…processing, development, emotional upset, changes at home, changes in education, friendships, learning, health.

And that doesn’t even cover half of it!

You can tie yourself up in knots trying to work out how to deal with each and every issue that comes up, trying to work out what’s causing your Little One’s anxiety, anger, meltdowns or sleep issue

You can create more stress and overwhelm for yourself, just trying to work out what is causing the stress and overwhelm in your Little Ones!

And there you have it, the one thing standing in your way…your stress and overwhelm (technically two I know, but they’re both wrapped up together and can be dealt with together)

We have been trained to think about everything…when there’s a problem or an issue, you feel you need to ‘have a think’ to find the solution or find ways to help

When we ‘think’ logically about how to help our Little Ones, we are forgetting our superpower; our superpower that no one else has; our superpower that, when we connect to it will give us all of the answers we need to help our Little Ones with whatever is going on in their lives.

It’s our mother’s intuition!

Our Little Ones grew inside us, and we have a connection to them that will never be broken…and it helps us feel what they are feeling AND what they need from us

But here’s the thing…you can not connect to your intuition when you are stressed and overwhelmed, therefore you can not get the true answers to help your children

When you strip back all of the stress, all of the responsibilities, all of the overwhelm and give yourself the space and peace to listen to your intuition, the cause of your Little One’s struggles and the answers on how to help them, come forward so easily.

It’s hard to do it yourself though isn’t it, especially when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed!

I have been teaching mums to connect to their intuition for over 4 years on both a 1-2-1 basis and in online programmes, changing their family lives for the better!

I am now bringing you the opportunity to access these techniques and teachings in my Mum’s Online Retreat in March!

It starts on Monday 4th March and includes so much to help peel away all of the stress and responsibility, relieve the overwhelm, create calm and connection and to fine tune your mother’s intuition!

I know March feels like a long way off, which is why, every Mum who books by Friday 4th Jan will receive two months FREE instant access to my Connected Parenting Academy, so that you can start to receive the support that you need straight away! The Guest Experts I have booked in for these 2 months are AMAZING, so this really is a brilliant bonus to what will already be a life changing experience for you and your Little Ones!

FIND OUT MORE & BOOK YOUR PLACE HERE

Do it now though if you want to claim that bonus though, remember how quickly time goes…and it’s so easy to forget yourself and what you need!

Two mistakes mums make today, which are guaranteed to set you up for a crappy 2019

So, every time I’ve looked at my social media over the last few days, I’ve been bombarded with adverts for new year new you, how you can make 2019 better, time to make those new years resolutions…better year, better you.

This approach makes you make mistake number 1 ~ to look back and focus on all of the hard stuff from the previous year. To think about what you haven’t done well enough, and how you need to do better next year (in come the resolutions laced with guilt and ridiculously high expectations of yourself)

It’s not a bad thing to acknowledge the challenges that you’ve faced, but it’s also important to let it all go…and then focus on everything that you’re grateful for over the last year. That way you’re changing the energy that you take into the next year

The next thing that you do is think about WHO YOU WANT TO BE as a person and as a Mum over the coming year. If there are things that you aren’t happy with, who do you need to be to change them? What knowledge and support do you need in your life to become that person? It could be that you haven’t been as patient as you’d have liked, because you felt so overwhelmed…so you might want to create more space. It could be that you’ve been unable to support your Little One in the way you’d like to, because you’ve felt resentful that your needs aren’t acknowledged…so you might want to make the space for some healing or stress relief for yourself.

Our children will always have challenges…they will change over time. We can’t do anything about that…what we can do is look at how we support ourselves, so that we can be who they need us to be (without any detriment to ourselves)

Once you have decided who you want to be, and what you need to get there…intend it!

Mistake number 2 ~ Just expecting things to change because we start a new year. So often we are told that things get better with time, or that it’s just a phase…but maybe there are ways of giving yourself the care and support, so that you can support your Little One better and move through the difficult time with much more ease and much quicker! And sometimes it doesn’t just take time and it’s not a phase…and if things have been tough all year, it stands a good chance that a different approach is needed!

So today at some point…

1. Write out the tough bits of the year, that you’re happy to let go of…then let them go

2. Write out what you’re grateful for in this year

3. Write out the qualities of who you want to be

4. Write out what you need to become that person

5. Make a commitment to yourself and your Little One that you will take action

I love new year, I love new starts and I love the opportunity to reflect and let go…but I’m going to let you in on a secret ~ I do this pretty much every day!

It helps me to be the person I want to be, to be the mum I want to be and to support other people in the way that I know they need me to.

If when you’ve written your lists, you feel like you could do with a hand in supporting your Little One, in becoming the mum you want to be, in becoming who YOU want to be, then take a look at my Mum’s Online Retreat.

It starts on Monday 4th March and includes so much to help peel away all of the stress and responsibility, relieve the overwhelm, create calm and connection and to fine tune your mother’s intuition!

I know March feels like a long way off, which is why, every Mum who books by Friday 4th Jan will receive two months FREE instant access to my Connected Parenting Academy, so that you can start to receive the support that you need straight away! The Guest Experts I have booked in for these 2 months are AMAZING, so this really is a brilliant bonus to what will already be a life changing experience for you and your Little Ones!

FIND OUT MORE & BOOK YOUR PLACE HERE

Do it now though if you want to claim that bonus though, remember how quickly time goes…and it’s so easy to forget yourself and what you need!

Happy list writing and if you have any questions about anything I’ve shared here, please get in touch!

The Number 1 Cause of Meltdowns That No-One is Talking About

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There are no two ways about it, meltdowns can be really difficult to deal with. They can be so tricky to predict, and by the time our Little Ones are in full meltdown mode, there’s little chance of going back and all we can do is try and recover the situation without too much emotional distress (for them and us!)

There are so many reasons why our children melt down…when the frustration, anger, sadness or upset just get too much and explode out of them. Continue reading “The Number 1 Cause of Meltdowns That No-One is Talking About”

3 Reasons Why Your Child is Angry

One of the hardest things to deal with as a mum is anger in our children. It’s an emotion that can trigger the same in us and leave us not dealing with it very well, especially when it seems to come from nowhere.

Anger in children isn’t always what it seems, but can be our interpretation of the emotion or another emotion transformed into anger.

This is why it’s so incredibly important to understand the reason WHY our Little Ones are struggling, and to work with that reason rather than focusing on the behaviour. This doesn’t mean not setting boundaries and allowing them to do whatever they like…it’s important to keep them and others safe.

Here are 3 reasons why your child could be angry… Continue reading “3 Reasons Why Your Child is Angry”