Why the wall went up & how it came down

💕This is me 14 years ago

💕It doesn’t look like me and to be honest, I didn’t feel like me

💕I’d developed a hard outer shell a long time before

💕It was protection after many years of feeling misunderstood and not accepted

💕It was pretence after years of being told I was too sensitive

💕I was a party girl…work hard, play hard…always last one to bed

💕I was running away from myself and blocking out the hurt

💕Only a few people were let in, often they weren’t the right people…and I got hurt again

💕I built a wall around my heart that I thought would never come down

💕My husband started to take the wall down when I was 32

💕The rest came crashing down along with my outer shell at 35…when Dexter was born

💕It taken me a long time to unravel everything that led me here

💕To truly understand myself

💕To remember it all so that I can understand why the wall went up

💕Now being sensitive is my biggest gift, it not only allows me to connect with my children, but every mum and Little One I work with

💕It enables me to read the energy of situations…my lie detector is sh!t hot

💕It enables me to read the energy in words so that I can help my clients get right to the root of their issues…and then I help them with coaching and energy work

💕Everything that I experienced was a gift , a gift to bring me to where I am now…doing what I came here to do

You know those days you wish you could rewind…and start over again

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The full moon and solar eclipse this Friday has questionable timing...lots of Little Ones (and Mums!) struggling with BIG emotions and switching off.

We were away for a few days over the weekend, which was so lovely (and on the Welsh coast, so cooler than here in England too!) It was such a lovely start to the summer holidays, but oh my goodness an assault on the senses to get back!

Dexter broke up from school on Thursday last week, I worked on Thursday night and we left for holiday on Friday morning…3 hours later and we arrived. On Monday we arrived back at 8.15pm and Danny went back to work on Tuesday.

On Tuesday despite all good intentions, I was not patient, I was not connected and I was not understanding

I started to really beat myself up, but I stopped…I needed to give myself a break (more…)

This just feels like pressure…

xavier-sotomayor-192007-unsplashI’ve been sitting here with the intention of writing, for nearly an hour. I’ve procrastinated…looked at birthday presents online for Violet (and spent 10 minutes trying to work out how on Earth she’s 2 already!), looked at glamping breaks for the summer holidays, stared into space and bought a new reusable cup for my green tea when we have Breakfast in the park (after I dropped mine and broke it this morning…and spilt all of my tea!)

I don’t know whether it was the relentlessness of June, the heat or the increased wake ups from Violet now that she is in her pre 2 leap…but I am absolutely shattered! My brain isn’t functioning as normal…maybe the heat has melted it?!

I know that what I really need now more than any other time is to focus on my self care. I know this as it’s one of the first things I work on with my clients…but I’ve got to be honest and say that I’ve had a massive block on it this week! It’s felt like yet another thing to do, something else on my never ending to do list. It’s created pressure this week…like there is this unattainable zen like state that I should be accessing (no wonder it’s overwhelmed me!)  (more…)

This HAS to change

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This month has made me realise that things have to change (I’ve said it before, and I know that this is a pattern for me…time to break it!) When I am out of the house, whether it’s running an event or doing training, nothing gets done! The children are looked after and fed, but that’s about it. When Daddy is in charge they have days out and they play a lot, or just chill out together…which is lovely, but it means that everything is left for me to catch up in the week!

Apart from feeling unappreciated and taken for granted, this realisation gave me a couple more concerns… (more…)

How my garden is like my parenting!

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This week we had someone come in to tackle our garden, as it had changed into a meadow! The grass was waist height on Violet and you couldn’t even see her behind the flower beds! I actually like the meadow…I love wild flowers (weeds according to my husband!) and we’ve got enough space to let everything overgrown. Plus the flowers are good for the nest of honey bees in our garden (which are in turn good for our environment). Dexter and Violet loved it all overgrown…perfect for water fights!

Here’s the thing though…it just didn’t suit me. (more…)

Are You Like the Honey Bee?

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I’m really tired…school holidays with two children full time, twice as much mess and the same amount of work for my business is exhausting! Not to mention dealing with insurance, garages, solicitors and physiotherapists after our recent accident. I had a Nanny booked to help out but she wasn’t available in the end…next thing on my list is find a new Nanny!

We have a Honey Bee’s nest in our garden, so I’ve been reading up about them. I’d noticed that some bees always stayed just outside the nest and would get quite aggressive if we were nearby. Apparently they are the Guard Bees, protecting the Queen and the honey. I hadn’t realised that there are loads of different roles for the bees, all supporting each other so they can get done what they are here to do.

Honey bees don’t try and do everything themselves, burning themselves out along the way! We need to be more like the Honey Bees! (more…)

Why are the pre school years so hard?!

Being a mum is amazing, but there is no doubt that each year or stage comes with its own challenges.

The first year is filled with unknowns, trying to work out who your Little One is, recovering from pregnancy and childbirth and dealing with sleep deprivation

The second year is a shock as your Little One all of a sudden develops these huge emotions that can erupt at any time (usually when you’re completely unprepared)

The third year can be where you really feel like things are at their most challenging…two year old meltdowns that leave you feeling like you’re not getting anything right, and quite frankly beaten.

You think that once you get past that milestone year, that everything will get better…except it doesn’t, it comes with its own set of challenges! Ages 3 and 4, just as we think the dust has settled, take boundary pushing to a new level!

But WHY?!  (more…)