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You have a choice

I saw a post on Instagram the other day, shared by Milli Hill from her next book. It was about a woman in labour being pressurised into having a vaginal examination, when it was the last thing she wanted.

It really struck a cord with so many women, who shared their stories in the comments.

I sat reading them in tears…it shouldn’t be happening

Being left with that feeling can get passed down for generations, disempowering all of the girls and women that follow…this is how 💕

**YOU HAVE A CHOICE** ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

When you have a difficult or traumatic pregnancy or birth experience, you can be left feeling like your choices were taken away

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It was not as you wanted…you tell yourself that it’s over and your Little One is here and safe, but the feeling around the birth stays

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In that moment, in that experience, a belief was created and took root in the cells of your body

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The same happened for your Little One ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Whatever you thought, however you felt got stuck

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The same happened for your Little One ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Beliefs are then created…

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Birth isn’t safe

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Birth is traumatic

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This world isn’t safe

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Separation isn’t safe

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Mum is the only safe space

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Change is scary

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Bad things happen when things change

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Little Ones aren’t safe in anyone else’s hands

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Loss is inevitable ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

These beliefs don’t go away by themselves, they stay programmed into your cells…and they get passed down through the generations ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I want to acknowledge you…what you went through ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I want to let you know that how you (and your Little One) feel is important ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I want you to know that I understand how it feels to have your choices taken away, to feel disempowered and violated

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I also want you to know that, right now you have a choice

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You have a choice whether to leave that trauma, those emotions and those beliefs locked in the cells of your body, ready to pass down through the generations ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You have a choice whether to leave that trauma, those emotions and those beliefs locked in the cells of your Little One’s body, ready to pass down even further

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You can make the choice to heal, process and release the trauma, let go of the difficult emotions and reprogramme the beliefs…for you AND your Little One ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

You get to choose whether the trauma stops here, or whether it gets passed on to your grandchildren and your great grandchildren ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The generations before us didn’t know this…it’s why we carry so much of their sh!t

What do you choose?

Get in touch to arrange a free Birth Exploration Call…or if you already know what you choose, you can pre book your place on Birth Healing Together, starting in October.

Find out more about my Birth Healing Together Programme HERE

Love Jennie 💕

PS. Don’t forget I also have a free group for Birth Trauma Recovery for Mums & Little Ones. All are welcome! 

The 3 biggest reasons you’ve got severe mum stress…

It’s associated with being a mum isn’t it. I asked the mums on my Facebook page recently, how often they were stressed and 95% said constantly…that’s a lot of stress! When I asked about the causes of their stress, there were various answers…but those answers aren’t the reason they feel the stress. You can have stressful situations; face difficulties; be challenged…but that isn’t what causes you to be stressed all of the time.

What causes you to be constantly stressed is resilience, or lack of it…and here’s the big thing ~ YOU CAN CHANGE IT!

There are things that you can do, that when you are not doing them, means that you feel more stressed by your experiences

When I ask my clients about these things, whether they are doing them or not, is a clear indicator of how well they are coping with the day to day stresses that they face. It’s also an indicator of their ability to be resilient when something bigger happens for them.

Stress can trickle in on a daily basis, but when you’re not doing these things, it can build up and up and up…before it finally pushes you over the edge. If you are already holding stress or trauma from something else (birth being the most common that I come across), it will push you even further when you let the stress build up.

So here they are…

1. Dedicated daily time for yourself

It’s very rare that when I’ve met a mum at the beginning of her journey, and asked if she does this, that she has said yes. The most common answer is “I don’t have the time”. It’s also very rare that after working with me, she hasn’t been able to create this space dedicated to her own self care…and the difference is unbelievable.

You are processing way too much, holding way too much and dealing with way too much, to not have any time to enable the release. I’m not talking about hours to yourself, although that would be amazing! I’m talking about minutes…you can create the space to do that, but you have to choose to do it.

The bottom line is that you can not give all of you, if you aren’t putting anything back in…something has to give. Without this dedicated space, it’s likely to be your health…mental, physical or emotional (or all 3)

2. Mindset practice

If you’re not used to them, this can sound more complicated than it actually is! If you wake up after a bad night sleep, having snapped at your Little One and feeling like the worst mum in the world, you continue your day with how rubbish everything is, how rubbish you are and how nothing will ever get better, you’re not going to be in the best position to deal with what life throws at you. If all you see in the morning are the bad things in life, how difficult everything is…that is what you will find.

Taking just 10 minutes to find the things that you appreciate about yourself, the things that you are grateful for or the things that you would love for your day, can absolutely turn your day around…and put you into a much better frame of mind to deal with anything that does tend to stress you out. Doing the same at the end of each day can set you up for a better day the next day.

I now that when you’re exhausted it can be hard to lift yourself, I’ve been there…but I’ve also used this to bring myself through some pretty dark days…you can too

3. Looking after your energy

You are giving out all of the time, in more ways than you realise. You are connecting with people out of duty, maintaining relationships and friendships that drain the life out of you…and the thing is, that they are actually draining you. They are taking valuable energy, that when you are a mum, doesn’t feel lie it’s in fruitful supply! Family members who are hard work, work colleagues that moan all day, that ‘friend’ who always needs to offload (then feels loads better when they’ve dumped all of their crap on you!)…every single one of them is draining your energy, leaving you with less to deal with what comes up for you.

You will have people in your life that you do need to be in contact with, but protecting your energy is a must. Being conscious about the fact that you have an energy supply, and prioritising where it goes is essential

And the one thing that will release so much of it all?

Healing & releasing difficult experiences that haven’t been fully processed 

When you go through a difficult or traumatic experience, and aren’t in a position to process it fully at the time, you hold the emotions in your body…they get tucked away. They lie there, sometimes with you completely unaware, waiting to be triggered…without warning. 

You are like a vessel, and when you are holding on to unresolved hurt or trauma, it’s filling you up…add the stress on top, and you’ve got much less time or capacity until you boil over. 

The stress will trigger the feelings that are buried, bringing them to the surface and reigniting the whole experience

You can not be who you want to be, you can not be the best person you can…the best mum you can be, if you are holding on to all of these emotions, difficult memories and trauma

When you allow yourself to heal, process and release, there is less to be triggered and there is more space, meaning that you have the capacity to deal with so much more before you reach breaking point.

If this has hit home, and you could do with some help with this, please get in touch…I’m here to help.

And if it was your birth experience that was difficult or traumatic, pre booking is available now for my Birth Healing Together Programme which starts in October…and if you’re quick, you could get yourself a bargain, as I had a special offer for July and didn’t get chance to take it down off the website yet, so you can save some money if you book today

I hope this has helped, and that you can implement this into your life to relieve the stress that life is throwing at you right now

Love Jennie 💕

I thought this was too vulnerable to share…

But I’m doing it anyway, because you never know who it might help

Lovely, how are you and your Little One this week? I feel like I’ve said this a million times, but this week has been so incredibly intense and so many mums (and Little Ones) have been struggling…so if things have felt tough this week, you’re not on your own!

Energetically this week, there has been a lot going on…on top of a full moon lunar eclipse (which was intense enough!) there were also 6 planets in retrograde (which is where they appear to be going backwards, and can bring up A LOT of stuff for us to process). Although this can feel really hard, it’s actually a good thing, as it give you the opportunity to heal and release what you’re holding onto…all the stuff that isn’t doing you any good, and is stopping you from truly connecting to your Little One.

I had one of those weeks last week…

It started off with some irritability, feelings of overwhelm and the need to be alone (which of course, both of my children zone in on and don’t want to leave my side).

Then so many emotions began to come up, I didn’t know what to do with myself…I wanted to talk but didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to be on my own, but didn’t feel like very good company. I was snappy with the children, then feeling guilty straight afterwards.

I tried meditating but my mind wouldn’t switch off

I tried journaling but the words just wouldn’t come

I was tired but couldn’t switch off, so was going to bed late and waking up late

I wanted to go out and get drunk, forget about everything and block out the emotions

This wasn’t me now, this was the old me!

I was holding too much and I wasn’t creating enough of a release…it was making me want to run away

So I stepped away from social media

I took a break from working

I listened to my body…and I listened to my heart

Familiar stories were rising up…not feeling good enough, not feeling heard, feeling sorry for myself, feeling lonely

I used EFT to start unblocking, and I had my healer come over to my house to work on clearing what was stuck around us

I allowed myself to feel whatever was coming up, I acknowledged it, I was grateful for it and I consciously released it

I argued with my ex…releasing all of the resentment I was holding towards him, with force

Yesterday, instead of working when the children were with Daddy, I meditated, journaled, did a tapping session and then journaled again…the tears started to come

Then last night, at the end of “How to Train Your Dragon ~ The Hidden World”, I started crying…and I didn’t stop until I went to sleep

I was grieving…

Grieving for the marriage that hadn’t worked out

Grieving for the family unit that had fallen apart

Grieving for the man I started going out with, who I felt changed towards me as soon as I became a Mum

I know that our relationship was not meant to be…and I know that I will be with someone else who is right for me

I know that we learned the lessons we needed to, we created our beautiful children and we will move forward in a different way

But I still had all of the human feelings, and I hadn’t allowed myself to really feel them, heal them and release them

And whilst I was holding on to all of it, I couldn’t have a decent relationship with him because it was easier to be angry

It also meant that I couldn’t give my children exactly what they needed (even though I was non stop, doing everything I could for them) because I was blocked

I know that whatever I go through, there is the potential for me to learn from the experience to help someone else…which is why it’s important that I share

Whatever you have been through, it is so important to heal and release…birth trauma, struggles with conception, family break ups, abuse, bullying, loss…it’s all stored and can all be triggered (and when you least expect it) 

As a Mum it’s your responsibility to clear the way, the unload your heavy heart and let go of what’s stopping you from being who you came here to be…I took that responsibility on, will you?

You don’t have to do it alone

If you experienced a traumatic or difficult pregnancy or birth, I have a FREE group where I will be sharing FREE workshops over the summer, to help both you and your Little One

Birth Trauma Recovery for Mums & Little Ones

Something Different!

If, like me, you’ve come through your most difficult times (apart from when 6 planets are in retrograde and there’s a full moon lunar eclipse!!) and now you know it’s your time to help others come through the same transformation, then there’s something really special that I’d like to share with you…you can find out more below, about how I’m helping mums in business use their own experiences to help others (of course in a slightly different way!)

Find out more here

Just a note to say, that if you are struggling and there’s nothing here that is speaking to you, do please get in touch…I’m here to help you

Love Jennie 💕

My First Mother’s Day…

This is me in September 2010, 6 months pregnant with Dexter and beyond excited about what was to come

I had no fear and no worry about any aspect of pregnancy, birth or becoming a mum…it was all I’d ever wanted and I was so excited to meet my little boy

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Little did I know that, despite my positivity, my trust, educating myself and preparing for a beautiful, calm birth…it would end in trauma

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My birth experience was mismanaged (for which I received an apology for later when I complained)

My rights to make my own decisions about how and where to Birth were ignored…my choices taken away

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I hadn’t for one minute thought that a consultant would tell me I couldn’t do something when it was my choice, so I just did as I was told

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The result was trauma…for me and Dexter

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A full episiotomy, forceps, both of us terrified of losing the other

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My first Mother’s Day was beautiful and so sad all that the same time ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I felt so guilty…

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Guilty for how he arrived…

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Guilty for feeling traumatised when he was here and so many women were struggling with not being mums on Mother’s Day…

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Guilty for not being able to shake the intrusive thoughts…

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Guilty for my anxiety and hyper vigilance…

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Guilty for not being the person anymore that my husband fell in love with…

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Guilty for not allowing friends and family to hold him (when I felt he was only safe with me)…

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Guilty because I felt like I should have protected him, and I got it wrong, and now it felt like I was getting everything wrong…

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I wish I could go back and tell 35 year old me that it wasn’t my fault, and that I would feel free from all of the guilt and the trauma

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I wish she could know that we would heal that experience, and that I would fully understand and help Dexter release the trauma too

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I wish she could know just how huge a difference going through that experience would make, as I used it to understand and help so many other mums and children heal

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Maybe I knew it all deep down 💕

If this sounds familiar, know that you can be free from this…and your Little One can too.

Message me to book a free call to see how we can work together 💕

The reason why your Little One won’t ‘grow out of it’

Lots of mums are having big struggles this week with their Little One’s Emotions, and I noticed that lots of my Private Clients are being given the same advice…they’ll just grow out of it. It has left them feeling powerless and that they just need to wait it out, when this is not the case. I thought that if they are hearing this, then you might be too…so here are my thoughts 💕

“Whatever is going on for your Little One, you can guarantee that you will be given one of two opinions from a whole host of people…that there is either a major issue with their behaviour which must be addressed, or that they will grow out of it. 

I don’t agree with either of these, but for now we’re just going to look at why children do not just grow out of it.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s meltdowns, angry outbursts, anxiety, overwhelm or a sleep struggle, expecting your Little One to just grow out of it could be doing them the biggest disservice, and leave them feeling even more frustrated, disconnected and misunderstood. It also leaves you feeling completely disempowered, feeling that you can’t support or lessen the effects of their struggles.

Don’t get me wrong, there are instances where Little Ones do grow out of their struggles…there are developmental stages, emotional learning, difficult experiences that will pass. But there are so many struggles where they can’t grow out of and are not going to get better unless you understand them. 

The problem that we have is that a lot of parenting information and practices are based on out of date understanding. 

The advice given now based on the understanding of physical experiences has changed…thank goodness, as it was only 30 years ago that it was believed by medical professionals that babies couldn’t feel pain, so operations were carried out without anaesthetic

The advice given now on the understanding of some emotional experiences is starting to change…thank goodness, now that Cry it Out and Controlled Crying are now being questioned more, and Little Ones are kept with their mums instead of being taken away.

There is still so much that our children experience on a day to day basis, that can impact them physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically, that mums don’t necessarily experience so can’t understand.

Through my work over the last 7 years (and through then learning more from my own children) I have discovered so much about what affects our children…and I’m going to share it with you! In my brand new FREE Mini Series “5 Secrets About Your Little One That WILL Change Your Life” I am going to share 5 reasons why your Little One is struggling, that you will not find in the parenting books…or anywhere else for that matter! 

These struggles are not something that they grow out of, they don’t go away…they need understanding and support, and they need that from you.”

I’m so excited to share this with you…I witness the amazing transformation that my Private clients experience, by having this knowledge and working with it! 

We start on Monday 11th February and registration to secure your place is open now, so is the Facebook Group! 

Register to secure your place here

I’ll see you in the Facebook group…I can’t wait to help you! 💕