Two mistakes mums make today, which are guaranteed to set you up for a crappy 2019

So, every time I’ve looked at my social media over the last few days, I’ve been bombarded with adverts for new year new you, how you can make 2019 better, time to make those new years resolutions…better year, better you.

This approach makes you make mistake number 1 ~ to look back and focus on all of the hard stuff from the previous year. To think about what you haven’t done well enough, and how you need to do better next year (in come the resolutions laced with guilt and ridiculously high expectations of yourself)

It’s not a bad thing to acknowledge the challenges that you’ve faced, but it’s also important to let it all go…and then focus on everything that you’re grateful for over the last year. That way you’re changing the energy that you take into the next year

The next thing that you do is think about WHO YOU WANT TO BE as a person and as a Mum over the coming year. If there are things that you aren’t happy with, who do you need to be to change them? What knowledge and support do you need in your life to become that person? It could be that you haven’t been as patient as you’d have liked, because you felt so overwhelmed…so you might want to create more space. It could be that you’ve been unable to support your Little One in the way you’d like to, because you’ve felt resentful that your needs aren’t acknowledged…so you might want to make the space for some healing or stress relief for yourself.

Our children will always have challenges…they will change over time. We can’t do anything about that…what we can do is look at how we support ourselves, so that we can be who they need us to be (without any detriment to ourselves)

Once you have decided who you want to be, and what you need to get there…intend it!

Mistake number 2 ~ Just expecting things to change because we start a new year. So often we are told that things get better with time, or that it’s just a phase…but maybe there are ways of giving yourself the care and support, so that you can support your Little One better and move through the difficult time with much more ease and much quicker! And sometimes it doesn’t just take time and it’s not a phase…and if things have been tough all year, it stands a good chance that a different approach is needed!

So today at some point…

1. Write out the tough bits of the year, that you’re happy to let go of…then let them go

2. Write out what you’re grateful for in this year

3. Write out the qualities of who you want to be

4. Write out what you need to become that person

5. Make a commitment to yourself and your Little One that you will take action

I love new year, I love new starts and I love the opportunity to reflect and let go…but I’m going to let you in on a secret ~ I do this pretty much every day!

It helps me to be the person I want to be, to be the mum I want to be and to support other people in the way that I know they need me to.

If when you’ve written your lists, you feel like you could do with a hand in supporting your Little One, in becoming the mum you want to be, in becoming who YOU want to be, then take a look at my Mum’s Online Retreat.

It starts on Monday 4th March and includes so much to help peel away all of the stress and responsibility, relieve the overwhelm, create calm and connection and to fine tune your mother’s intuition!

I know March feels like a long way off, which is why, every Mum who books by Friday 4th Jan will receive two months FREE instant access to my Connected Parenting Academy, so that you can start to receive the support that you need straight away! The Guest Experts I have booked in for these 2 months are AMAZING, so this really is a brilliant bonus to what will already be a life changing experience for you and your Little Ones!

FIND OUT MORE & BOOK YOUR PLACE HERE

Do it now though if you want to claim that bonus though, remember how quickly time goes…and it’s so easy to forget yourself and what you need!

Happy list writing and if you have any questions about anything I’ve shared here, please get in touch!

The Number 1 Cause of Meltdowns That No-One is Talking About

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There are no two ways about it, meltdowns can be really difficult to deal with. They can be so tricky to predict, and by the time our Little Ones are in full meltdown mode, there’s little chance of going back and all we can do is try and recover the situation without too much emotional distress (for them and us!)

There are so many reasons why our children melt down…when the frustration, anger, sadness or upset just get too much and explode out of them. (more…)

3 Reasons Why Your Child is Angry

One of the hardest things to deal with as a mum is anger in our children. It’s an emotion that can trigger the same in us and leave us not dealing with it very well, especially when it seems to come from nowhere.

Anger in children isn’t always what it seems, but can be our interpretation of the emotion or another emotion transformed into anger.

This is why it’s so incredibly important to understand the reason WHY our Little Ones are struggling, and to work with that reason rather than focusing on the behaviour. This doesn’t mean not setting boundaries and allowing them to do whatever they like…it’s important to keep them and others safe.

Here are 3 reasons why your child could be angry… (more…)

I know how tired you are…

I know how tired you are

I know there’s not enough sleep you could have in a night that would relieve the tiredness

I know you’re tired of the relentlessness

I know you’re tired of having to be the one with the answers

I know you’re tired of trying to find the answers

I know you’re tired of trying to hold everyone together

I know you’re tired of being on alert for meltdowns

I know you’re tired of everything you have to think about every single day

I know you’re tired of just coasting through

I know you’re tired of not having any time for you

I know you’re tired of coming at the bottom of the list

I know you’re tired but feel guilty for feeling the way you do, because you wouldn’t be without your babies

I know how tired you are because I’ve been you…I am you

The difference for me is that through my work, I’ve found a lot of the answers

That in the last 7 years I’ve learnt loads, both from my own children and the thousands I’ve worked with

The difference for me is that I’ve got an AMAZING support network

I am connected to some of the most AMAZING experts who help me to learn new ways of supporting myself and my children

The difference for me is that I’ve found my village…I know I am supported at any time

I’ve worked out what makes my life easier, how to make life easier for my children

I know how hard it feels to do it all by yourself

I know how hard it feels to not feel supported

I know how hard it feels to not feel understood (or have your Little Ones not being understood)

I know how hard it feels to keep on going when you don’t feel like you’ve got anything left

I know how hard it feels when you’re desperately trying to help your Little One, but it never feels enough

I know how hard it feels when you feel like a failure

I know because I’ve felt it all

What I want you to know is that it doesn’t have to be this hard

I want you to know that you have a choice…right now

You don’t have to be this tired

I don’t have a magic wand and I’m not saying that it will always be easy

But having a combination of knowledge from experts (who are mums just like you), a community of mums to hold and support you (who are just like you), understanding for you and your Little Ones from me and my village (who are just like you) and techniques to work through each layer of what’s going on…techniques that have worked for thousands of mums (who are just like you)…you CAN start to move forward, to feel more human, to truly enjoy more, to put yourself first and understand your Little Ones more than ever

We’re all on the same journey, some of us are just further down the road

It’s time…time to get the support you need, to understand more, to be less tired and to live life with more ease!

COME & JOIN US HERE

How Christmas made me ill

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I want to tell you a story…about the year that Christmas made me so ill, it took months to recover (and a lot of money!)

It was 2012 and Dexter was a toddler…his sleep was up and down and we were yet to find out that he had a gluten and dairy intolerance.

I’d started my business and Dexter had started nursery…it had been a tiring year, so I was really looking forward to some chilled family time, an extra pair of hands and a few lie ins!

I thought that now he was a little bit older (although not fully understanding Christmas) that he would cope with it a bit better…wrong!

The run up to Christmas was absolutely manic for me (December is always one of my busiest months, due to the amount of children struggling) and there was something going on at nursery ALL THE TIME…Dexter had no concept of time, so constantly thought that Christmas was just round the corner

We had meet ups with friends and family, visits to Father Christmas, nursery events, Christmas parties…I was exhausted and Dexter was completely overtired and had started waking up multiple times every night, then at the crack of dawn

By the time Christmas arrived we were both wrecked, so we just planned to take it easy…little did I know that things were about to get worse. (more…)

Fighting your corner at Christmas

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One of the hardest things I used to find about being the parent of a child who is a little more sensitive (in so many ways), has their emotions right at the surface and prone to displays of said emotions on a grand scale, was the battles with other family members.

You know what it’s like…you’ve made a conscious decision to parent your Little One in a certain way…for us it’s always been child led, naturally and with a holistic approach.

Other family members might not respect our choices around food, stimulation or boundaries and can really overstep the mark…then our Little Ones react

Other family members (often older, more old fashioned) can often see our approach as being too soft, with a “You didn’t do that in our day” or “We used to give you a smack and you turned out alright”

You know that any outburst of emotion, any struggle about sitting at the table or not eating certain foods, any meltdowns or even tears can be met with eye rolls or even interfering.

Not only can this make you feel like you’re getting it wrong, it can also make you feel like your Little One is getting it wrong…even when you know deep down that it’s not true! (more…)

It’s all in the preparation

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Have you realised that Christmas is less than 4 weeks away?! 

Are you prepared?! 

I don’t mean with present buying and organising, I mean with your Little One!

Christmas has the potential to be such a lovely time…spending time together as a family, eating lovely food, relaxing in each other’s company

It’s what we imagine when we think of Christmas, especially if the magic has worn off since becoming a grown up! 

It’s a truly magical time of year…unless you have sensitive Little Ones 

Even the most laid back of children can get overwhelmed at Christmas…

So if you have a Little One whose emotions are right beneath the surface, who gets overstimulated, who finds it hard to switch off…Christmas can be the thing that nightmares are made of  (more…)