This may come as a shock to you but your child is never “just being naughty”. There’s always a reason why. To understand why your child is behaving a certain way you must get to the root of what’s causing it in the first place. So how do we go about doing that? By looking deeper.
At the very core of who we are lie layers upon layers of stories and beliefs we have created for ourselves. Those beliefs come from the experiences we have throughout life, especially in childhood. Every time we go through similar experiences, it triggers the emotion felt the first time around. If we have no way of processing, healing and releasing the emotion, those beliefs become reinforced, no matter how untrue they may be. When we hold onto emotions, we attract more of those experiences in to give us extra opportunities to heal. To help you understand this, here are some examples from my own life.
There was my 5 and a half-month-old baby, Dexter, and I in my car when we had a car accident. It had happened in June, a month after my birthday. Luckily, everyone involved walked away but it was, of course, traumatic for the both of us. It took a lot of work for us to process what had happened, and I thought that we had. 7 years later, 4 days after my birthday, I had another car accident. This time 10-month-old Violet was my passenger. Dexter got very scared and angry about it. We hadn’t processed the trauma from the first accident. The triggering of it all gave us another chance to release what we were still holding onto. (more…)
We are approaching the end of the summer holidays, and as always, there is a mix of emotions for lots of mums who follow my social media…not wanting the holidays to end, but needing some space. Feeling excited for new beginnings for their children, but worried about how they will handle the change
There are massive changes coming for lots of children as they start school (or pre school) and the change will affect some more than others. Over the last 7 years, my busiest time of the year has been between October and Christmas, as the effects of school changes have taken their toll on children (and mums)…but not all children find it SO hard, so why do my clients?! (more…)
It’s been a funny week (there’s a pattern to this I know…it will continue until 6th September!) We had nap resistance on Wednesday (typical when Dexter was out for the day, although I think it was me missing her window ), then on Thursday the inlaws came to help so I could work…it took Violet an hour to climb off me, and then her and Dexter just argued the WHOLE DAY!
Then yesterday we went to Nanny’s for the day, and Dexter had a scooting accident. I’d planned an evening of work last night, but I mostly sat in a hot Epsom salt bath with a glass of wine!
It was an accident, a fall. He was ok BUT it was traumatic at the time…for him and me, and his cousin who was the only one who saw the actual fall, and was quite grey afterwards. Violet laughed and said “funny Dexter” as she whizzed off on her own scooter, pretending that she was 4 and not 2 (I am in trouble there!) (more…)
💕This is me 14 years ago
💕It doesn’t look like me and to be honest, I didn’t feel like me
💕I’d developed a hard outer shell a long time before
💕It was protection after many years of feeling misunderstood and not accepted
💕It was pretence after years of being told I was too sensitive
💕I was a party girl…work hard, play hard…always last one to bed
💕I was running away from myself and blocking out the hurt
💕Only a few people were let in, often they weren’t the right people…and I got hurt again
💕I built a wall around my heart that I thought would never come down
💕My husband started to take the wall down when I was 32
💕The rest came crashing down along with my outer shell at 35…when Dexter was born (more…)
The full moon and solar eclipse this Friday has questionable timing...lots of Little Ones (and Mums!) struggling with BIG emotions and switching off.
We were away for a few days over the weekend, which was so lovely (and on the Welsh coast, so cooler than here in England too!) It was such a lovely start to the summer holidays, but oh my goodness an assault on the senses to get back!
Dexter broke up from school on Thursday last week, I worked on Thursday night and we left for holiday on Friday morning…3 hours later and we arrived. On Monday we arrived back at 8.15pm and Danny went back to work on Tuesday.
On Tuesday despite all good intentions, I was not patient, I was not connected and I was not understanding
I started to really beat myself up, but I stopped…I needed to give myself a break (more…)
I’ve been sitting here with the intention of writing, for nearly an hour. I’ve procrastinated…looked at birthday presents online for Violet (and spent 10 minutes trying to work out how on Earth she’s 2 already!), looked at glamping breaks for the summer holidays, stared into space and bought a new reusable cup for my green tea when we have Breakfast in the park (after I dropped mine and broke it this morning…and spilt all of my tea!)
I don’t know whether it was the relentlessness of June, the heat or the increased wake ups from Violet now that she is in her pre 2 leap…but I am absolutely shattered! My brain isn’t functioning as normal…maybe the heat has melted it?!
I know that what I really need now more than any other time is to focus on my self care. I know this as it’s one of the first things I work on with my clients…but I’ve got to be honest and say that I’ve had a massive block on it this week! It’s felt like yet another thing to do, something else on my never ending to do list. It’s created pressure this week…like there is this unattainable zen like state that I should be accessing (no wonder it’s overwhelmed me!) (more…)
This month has made me realise that things have to change (I’ve said it before, and I know that this is a pattern for me…time to break it!) When I am out of the house, whether it’s running an event or doing training, nothing gets done! The children are looked after and fed, but that’s about it. When Daddy is in charge they have days out and they play a lot, or just chill out together…which is lovely, but it means that everything is left for me to catch up in the week!
Apart from feeling unappreciated and taken for granted, this realisation gave me a couple more concerns… (more…)