3 Reasons Why Your Child is Angry

One of the hardest things to deal with as a mum is anger in our children. It’s an emotion that can trigger the same in us and leave us not dealing with it very well, especially when it seems to come from nowhere.

Anger in children isn’t always what it seems, but can be our interpretation of the emotion or another emotion transformed into anger.

This is why it’s so incredibly important to understand the reason WHY our Little Ones are struggling, and to work with that reason rather than focusing on the behaviour. This doesn’t mean not setting boundaries and allowing them to do whatever they like…it’s important to keep them and others safe.

Here are 3 reasons why your child could be angry… (more…)

I know how tired you are…

I know how tired you are

I know there’s not enough sleep you could have in a night that would relieve the tiredness

I know you’re tired of the relentlessness

I know you’re tired of having to be the one with the answers

I know you’re tired of trying to find the answers

I know you’re tired of trying to hold everyone together

I know you’re tired of being on alert for meltdowns

I know you’re tired of everything you have to think about every single day

I know you’re tired of just coasting through

I know you’re tired of not having any time for you

I know you’re tired of coming at the bottom of the list

I know you’re tired but feel guilty for feeling the way you do, because you wouldn’t be without your babies

I know how tired you are because I’ve been you…I am you

The difference for me is that through my work, I’ve found a lot of the answers

That in the last 7 years I’ve learnt loads, both from my own children and the thousands I’ve worked with

The difference for me is that I’ve got an AMAZING support network

I am connected to some of the most AMAZING experts who help me to learn new ways of supporting myself and my children

The difference for me is that I’ve found my village…I know I am supported at any time

I’ve worked out what makes my life easier, how to make life easier for my children

I know how hard it feels to do it all by yourself

I know how hard it feels to not feel supported

I know how hard it feels to not feel understood (or have your Little Ones not being understood)

I know how hard it feels to keep on going when you don’t feel like you’ve got anything left

I know how hard it feels when you’re desperately trying to help your Little One, but it never feels enough

I know how hard it feels when you feel like a failure

I know because I’ve felt it all

What I want you to know is that it doesn’t have to be this hard

I want you to know that you have a choice…right now

You don’t have to be this tired

I don’t have a magic wand and I’m not saying that it will always be easy

But having a combination of knowledge from experts (who are mums just like you), a community of mums to hold and support you (who are just like you), understanding for you and your Little Ones from me and my village (who are just like you) and techniques to work through each layer of what’s going on…techniques that have worked for thousands of mums (who are just like you)…you CAN start to move forward, to feel more human, to truly enjoy more, to put yourself first and understand your Little Ones more than ever

We’re all on the same journey, some of us are just further down the road

It’s time…time to get the support you need, to understand more, to be less tired and to live life with more ease!

COME & JOIN US HERE

How Christmas made me ill

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I want to tell you a story…about the year that Christmas made me so ill, it took months to recover (and a lot of money!)

It was 2012 and Dexter was a toddler…his sleep was up and down and we were yet to find out that he had a gluten and dairy intolerance.

I’d started my business and Dexter had started nursery…it had been a tiring year, so I was really looking forward to some chilled family time, an extra pair of hands and a few lie ins!

I thought that now he was a little bit older (although not fully understanding Christmas) that he would cope with it a bit better…wrong!

The run up to Christmas was absolutely manic for me (December is always one of my busiest months, due to the amount of children struggling) and there was something going on at nursery ALL THE TIME…Dexter had no concept of time, so constantly thought that Christmas was just round the corner

We had meet ups with friends and family, visits to Father Christmas, nursery events, Christmas parties…I was exhausted and Dexter was completely overtired and had started waking up multiple times every night, then at the crack of dawn

By the time Christmas arrived we were both wrecked, so we just planned to take it easy…little did I know that things were about to get worse. (more…)

Fighting your corner at Christmas

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One of the hardest things I used to find about being the parent of a child who is a little more sensitive (in so many ways), has their emotions right at the surface and prone to displays of said emotions on a grand scale, was the battles with other family members.

You know what it’s like…you’ve made a conscious decision to parent your Little One in a certain way…for us it’s always been child led, naturally and with a holistic approach.

Other family members might not respect our choices around food, stimulation or boundaries and can really overstep the mark…then our Little Ones react

Other family members (often older, more old fashioned) can often see our approach as being too soft, with a “You didn’t do that in our day” or “We used to give you a smack and you turned out alright”

You know that any outburst of emotion, any struggle about sitting at the table or not eating certain foods, any meltdowns or even tears can be met with eye rolls or even interfering.

Not only can this make you feel like you’re getting it wrong, it can also make you feel like your Little One is getting it wrong…even when you know deep down that it’s not true! (more…)

It’s all in the preparation

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Have you realised that Christmas is less than 4 weeks away?! 

Are you prepared?! 

I don’t mean with present buying and organising, I mean with your Little One!

Christmas has the potential to be such a lovely time…spending time together as a family, eating lovely food, relaxing in each other’s company

It’s what we imagine when we think of Christmas, especially if the magic has worn off since becoming a grown up! 

It’s a truly magical time of year…unless you have sensitive Little Ones 

Even the most laid back of children can get overwhelmed at Christmas…

So if you have a Little One whose emotions are right beneath the surface, who gets overstimulated, who finds it hard to switch off…Christmas can be the thing that nightmares are made of  (more…)

Who’d have thought it would be like this…

I’ve been feeling very reflective this week. I came across a photo of Dexter at Violet’s age and was thinking about the difference in me now as a parent, to back then.

Then I started thinking about me pre children. I remember years before Dexter was born, watching Supernanny and thinking that was the way to be…naughty step all the way. Who was I?! If you e been following me for a while, you know that couldn’t be further from who I am.

I felt a change in me when I was pregnant with Dexter and knew that I could be having quite a sensitive soul…but nothing prepared me for the next few years, and nothing gave me any understanding throughout those early years.

The feeling of failure when I couldn’t work out what on Earth was going on…why he wouldn’t (couldn’t) sleep, why he couldn’t cope in certain situations, why he would melt down sooo much. Of course there was never just one answer, but compared to other children his age, it always seemed so extreme.

The feeling of guilt when I handled stuff badly, either because I was being triggered by his behaviour, was terrified, or just had not got a clue what to do

The feeling that the longer I got it wrong, the more screwed up he would be

The feeling that I wasn’t cut out to be a mum

Now don’t get me wrong, I still have days like this…but it’s not constant, and I can usually work out what’s going on for both children (or at least that there is something going on!) but oh my goodness, the difference is huge (or fuge as Violet would say )

I got support

I learned a lot…from my own children and the thousands I’ve worked with over the last 7 years

When you’re right in the thick of it, it can be so hard to work everything out yourself…working with so many children over the years has helped me understand my own children (and myself) more. Each child teaches you something else.

Now I let myself off the hook when I do get it wrong or handle something badly…I’m human and I’m not going to always get it right.

What I do have is a lot more understanding and a big toolkit of techniques and resources that I’ve built up over the years, as well as knowledge and an amazing support network.

So today, in the run up to the full moon and with everyone losing the plot (including the dog!) I didn’t always deal with it in the best way (because I wanted to be somewhere quiet by myself!) and I didn’t beat myself up…I put it right.

There are times when it’s easier to do this…but Christmas is one of the times when it can be tricky, AND I realised today that the next full moon lands just before Christmas.

Even the most chilled of children can get overwhelmed and susceptible to meltdowns at Christmas, but when they  already have their emotions just underneath the surface, it can make it really really stressful…add a full moon in aaagghhhhhh! Christmas retreat, mums only anyone?!

Seriously though, we can either leave it all to chance, dread it, Deal With it (badly because we’re overwhelmed and exhausted too) and spend Christmas feeling like a guilty failure OR we can prepare.

I know what it’s like to have those overwhelming Christmas’s, with rollercoasters of emotions for EVERYONE…and I’m glad they’re behind me!

It’s given me an idea though, so I’m going to look at what I can work out to support you with this…you don’t need to feel like this, and there is so much you can do to support your Little One. I know, I’ve been there!

So, stay tuned until next week…I’m going to work on something over the weekend, ready to share with you next week. Your Christmas CAN be AMAZING!

In the meantime…

💕Rescue Remedy for everyone (for meltdowns)

💕Pine for you (for guilt)

💕Epsom salts with lavender (to chill everyone out)

💕Plenty of fresh air (to blow away the cobwebs & get grounded)

To get you through the next few days 💕

They don’t tell you this…

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They tell you…

That you’re both healthy and that’s what matters

That you’re both safe so it’s all ok

That your baby will have no memory of how difficult it was to arrive

That it’s ok, while they weren’t with you they were with Daddy

That they were only without you for a short while, they wouldn’t know any different

 

They don’t tell you…
(more…)